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UPDATE:  Kudos! Saatchi CEO Kevin Roberts shared this video on his blog MOVIE: Can't get enough of that Kiwi accent? Project Enabler  Sarah Smith explains  the serious ballplay behind this event. I confess I'm not a big into ballsports. I was the 5-foot nothing (on a tall day) runt at school and was never picked for anything except extreme cat's cradling (that's the thing you do with a loop of string). And I think I'm going to embarrass myself even further because I've used the word "footie" in a caption in the above clip, a word I suspect is  reserved for Aussie Rules football only. Right? Wrong? So what on Mars was I doing at this rugby function? My galpal Irene Fong emailed me with a November 12 invitation to a fundraiser entitled "New Zealand Rugby Stars in New York." I skimmed it politely until I saw the host and venue - Kevin Roberts, and my former employer Saatchi & Saatchi! More about that in a New York minute

I just loitered across the most ludicrous piece of advertising copywriting since leaving the land of Truth Entertainingly Told. In fact, I even made a video of me badly acting this $100-an-hour piece of unintentional Saturday Nite Live satire. Have a perve (3 Mb Quicktime movie) , as we say downunder. For those ill-equipped with the technology to see my C-grade performance, I reproduce the copy below. Put on your best Platoon garb, grab a whistle, strap on your Smith & Wesson and read with the trepidation of someone about to pull a big fat trigger on some Donalds and Daisy's out minding their own business ... As long as you're looking up, a little prayer couldn't hurt. You called. Begged. Pleaded. You did whatever it took to get them back, and now there's a whistling of wings coming your way fast. Though it might be your last chance, it's the only one you'll need now you're loaded three-deep with new UltraShok TM. It's from Federal Premium,

This is my submission to the Queensland Tourism Island Caretaker Job , along with the 30,000 other applicants (including Dean Martin's son, the Edmund Hilarys and Jacques Cousteaus of the world, and even an hilarious Osama impersonator). I use it now as part of my bio/resume, to demonstrate what I can do in 1 minute with a pocket digital camera, a guitar, a Mac, and an old tatty straw hat. My friend and multi-award-winning Art Director downunder, Sue Carey, challenged me to defend my self-styled title as a Multimediaclast - so this is for you, Sue! Judging from the staggering caliber of applicants, I'll be surprised if it floats (ha!) but oh, I do so love a 1-minute creative challenge. I can also I console myself that I've been doing this exact same job for the past 5 years as the Customer Evangelist and chief content creator for Bike Friday. The only difference is my butt is planted on a bike saddle, rather than a boogieboard. For tech trivia buffs, here's