Sunday, August 19, 2007

New York Minutes: "Excuse me, this isn't a gallery"


Another 'luxury condo' development in NYC. Note the Frank Gehry 'Bundt Cake/Jello Mold' building to the right.

I got the quintessential 'you're taking up airspace, young man' treatment recently.
My Chelsea architect friend is always dragging me around to hear the latest Renzo Piano concerto (you can tell I'm not an architect) but we did attempt a sneak peak at a new condo development -
correction - at the sales office of the development.

We hadn't gotten our Tevas much past the threshold when a 20-something toothy sales rep wafted in our direction to declare, painted nails drawn, "This is NOT a gallery."
Shuffling around in our shorts on a muggy summer's day, I guess we DID look like a pair of underfunded galleristas.

"I know, this is a sales office. Can we take a look around?" said my friend. She retreated momentarily.

We did get to run our fingers across the seamless terazzo countertops and thumb through the thick binder showcasing all the permutations of window shape and tilt.
Only when we drifted into the mockup of the walk-in robe, to stroke the seamless shelving stacked with seamless Paul Smith shirts and seamless Jimmy Choo pumps did our friendly sales rep glide in to move us right along.

"We've got people coming to look at the display and we, er, like them to see it in private." Those seamless teeth!

Come on, we weren't exactly standing in someone's private living room - just the 3D sketch! We were thus swept out the front door.

True, we weren't in the market for these condos, we were just one of the many architectural appreciators who happened to swing by. Baseboard kickers, if you will.

But this girl committed a grave sales error, which she is destined to repeat in other areas of her life where it matters.

You never know, just who we might know, or have as a second cousin ...

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