GALFROMDOWNUNDER UPOVER

There's always a pole to practice on, like this one on New York's L-Train Amber, Miss Poledance NSW WITH THIS, my third – or is it fourth? –  post about pole, I'm starting to get funny looks at the confessional. How long can I keep up the line "I only do it for my biceps/triceps, honest" when, with all my gallivanting around Oz for Bike Friday , I've barely had time to shin up the $550 chrome wonder propping up our living room ceiling? After my first multimedia post about the school, the principals Vanessa and Bobbi gifted my mother and I with two ringside, or should I say, bathtub side tickets, to one of their July Showtime evenings. Yes, the third 2-hour, champagne-drenched recital by the teachers featured a smoking act involving a couple of plastic shell-shaped bathtubs, ankle deep water, two sea sponges and the reigning Miss Poledance Australia, Candice, and Miss Poledance NSW, Amber. (As a duo, I reckon they should call themselves "CandAmber...

PHOTO GALLERY: Bobbi's Pole Studio End of Term recital MOVIE CLIP: Poledancing - the perfect workout for the modern urban cyclista In just a couple of years since my mother and daughter excursion into this femme fatale fitness fad, it seems poledancing has become the new 5BX - or rather X(XX?)BX of exercise for women of all ages, stages and sizes. I landed back downunder to discover that the local PoleStars franchise, where I did my introductory course, was up for sale. However, an outfit called Bobbi's Pole Studio was going great guns, with reportedly 1000 students. When I asked Bobbi, an utterly magnificent speciman of the XX chromosome, why she was leading the pack, she replied, "I've been doing poledancing all my life." Her studio, discreetly housed on the 4th floor of an old diva of a building, has zero street presence, perhaps to deter any riff raff. When you mount the stairs, you arrive on a floor bathed in pink lights and shiny fabrics and p...

The Foetal: As performed by the expert Tamara. One mis-timed knee placement leads to a nice black bruise ... PHOTO GALLERY: All 6 lessons - yes, the whole pole! MOVIE CLIPS: Lesson 4: our progress thus far Lesson 6: the Final Exam! YEOOOWWW. I've got a large black bruise on my left knee from a poorly timed leg-over during the 'Extended Foetal' move (see photo, minus me and bruise). Not to mentioned a giant nimbostratus on my right inner thigh from attempting 'Upside Down' no-hands ... Our 6 week Beginner Poledancing course is all over bar the fat lady swinging - with legs in flying V formation of course (the 'Reach for the Stars' move). I honestly thought I'd be blogging our progress each week, but when not gripping the drop bars on my Bike Friday, my keyboard fingers have been busy clutching our 50 cm diameter, demountable chrome dance pole, now lovingly installed smack in the middle of our teensy living room. We learned well over 20 moves plus a pile o...

The pole has arrived - and my mother swings into action Pre-reading:  Poledancing 101: A Mother and Daughter experience The Pole has arrived!  Or rather, my mother drove to the warehouse and collected it. I had noble plans to set up the bike trailer, cajole the Bike Friday Club of Sydney to chaperone me through the semi-industrial badlands of Botany and land it the carbon-friendly way. Turns out the box was as tall, wide and almost as heavy as I am - the warehouse manager actually used a little forklift to lower it into mum's car. We wrestled it up the stairs and sat down to watch the DVD. I still can't believe we've gone and done this. I have to remind myself it's no different from someone laying down cash for one of those treadmills, stationary bicycles, exercise balls and mini trampolines they end up ignoring after the initial buzz and good intentions wear off. The X-pole exposed   The X-pole is basically a set of chromed sections that screw together, with a...

Pole Dancing [def:] A type of vertical gymnastics using a stationary or spinning steel shaft and usually, footwear with a sharp heel. Said to have been invented by a bored cleaning lady in a fire station one evening, although this has never been verified. The Carousel: rather like twirling honey on a spoon - when you're not falling flat on your ass "Pole dancing? Want to try it? BYO pole!" I'll try anything once, maybe thrice, and I know who I get it from: my 69-year young mother of all mothers.   She greeted me at Sydney airport with her latest "why the hell not?" idea: pole dancing. Specifically, a website scribbled on a piece of paper: www.polestars.com.au Her intention was that I do it, not "what?-me-with-my-bad-back?" she, but I secretly signed both of us up for the $A39, 2-hour "taster lesson."  On the big night, we took ourselves into town on the bus, armed with our "Virgin Polestar" e-reser...